Movie Rant- Wrath Of The Titans: What, Only One Titan?

Here's the deal: I am an absolute snotty brat when it comes to Greek legends.

I'm a person who like to get things as right and as accurate as possible. Hercules did the twelve pillars. Achilles fought in the Trojan War, Jason sailed with the Argonauts and Theseus slew the Minotaur. While I understand the need to mix and match some stories to make them interesting, any form of inaccuracy feels like an itch to me. In the legend of Perseus, the son of Zeus, he saved

So when Hollywood decided to release Clash of The Titans a couple of years ago, I went in with a very critical pair of eyes. While the quality of the cinematography was good and the actors did deliver (it's got Liam Neeson it it, for crying out loud), I can't say much for the storyline. Not only that there wasn't a single Titan in any part of the movie, but they got the obvious mythology wrong. Perseus, son of Zeus, had saved Andromeda from certain sacrifice, but in the movie, he chose the immortal seer, Io, instead of marrying the princess. That is like watching Tutankhamun grown into a 70-year-old man. It's JUST SO WRONG!

This is Sparta...!!!! Oh sorry, wrong movie

Anyway, in the second installment, we see ten years after the whole Kraken fiasco (yes, I will use that word to describe this movie). Io is dead (because, apparently, she turns mortal once she marries) so there's just Perseus and their son Heleus. The gods' powers in Olympus are fading because people don't pray to them anymore, so the walls imprisoning their father, Kronos, was weakening. Hades, Lord of the Underworld, and Are, God of War, decided to use this chance to release Kronos, in exchange of both their own immortality. When Zeus approached his favourite son (really Zeus, how many favourite sons do you have?) for help,  Perseus declined at first. But when a Chimera attacked his peaceful fishing community and threatened his son, he was forced to throw himself into the war, uniting himself with the now Queen Andromeda (whose actress has been changed, they can't even keep that the same) and track down his cousin Agenor, in order to save his then captured father, defeat his raging half-brother Ares and force Kronos (his grandfather?) back into imprisonment.

Really, the more I read the last sentence, the more I feel like this is one messed-up family drama on a large scale.

Is that you, Dad?

The rest of the movie is all about Perseus in hero mode. While I give all those involved credit for special effects, watching the movie is about as fulfilling as watching a Transformers movie. All you see on the screen is explosives, running, yelling- but wooden storyline. The director, writer and producers once again failed to stay true to the Greek Mythology. Agenor is Poseidon's son? Spear of Triam, huh? What is that, the Deathly Hallows of the Greeks? And what makes me annoyed the most: they are still not utilizing all the Titans. Really, people, there are at least twelve original Titans in the Greek mythology. Why throw in virtually unknown lesser spirits like the Makhai, or have Perseus' story mixed up with that of Theseus? You're not a Disney kids' flick, why play around with facts? It's called WRATH OF THE TITANS, not "Wrath of every supernatural force in Greek mythology that can look and sound cool on screen".

"I think I just saw the Black Pearl zooming up ahead"

Just a small shoutout to my favourite actors, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes. They did really well, though it still irks me that Hollywood seemed to be determined to make Hades a villain almost every time. If you read the myths, he's probably one of the better gods, despite his job of governing the dead. At least he doesn't sleep around and sire fifty dozen illegitimate children all over the place like his brothers and nephews.

My advice to future filmmakers who decide to adapt something from ancient mythology- READ IT UP. I know it can be a challenge to your creative urges to follow everything by the book, but there's a way around it. After all, you get most of the facts right if it was an autobiography of someone who actually existed. Just because those gods and heroes can't sue you doesn't mean you can mess their lives up even worse than it already is.