There's only one day left of the year 2011.
How fast can time fly? I think it rides a space shuttle these days. I can't believe that we're entering yet another year. It feels almost (the cliched) yesterday that it was still January, and I was keen and raring to go. My facebook status entry on the 31st December 2010 read "With two hours to go, I look back and reflect on a great year. 2010 had been the year of achievements and building new beginnings. Hopefully 2011 will bring more wisdom and joy. Bring it on" , reflecting my optimism that this year would be a good year, in every aspect.
Studying these words one year later, I cannot help but think of what I had hoped for myself this year. Have I really been wiser this year? Am I happier? I said that 2010 has been the year of achievements. What have 2011 been to me?
In some ways, 2011 has been a good year for me. I was blessed to have the opportunity to have not one, but two trips overseas. Whatever anyone says, those trips have been the highlight of my year. It gave me a chance to rediscover myself, to remind me of who I am and what I am supposed to do with my life. I cherish the feeling of wonder inside me when I saw the Stonehenge for the first time, or when I took my first steps up the Great Wall of China, or when I saw Mona Lisa smiling at me, her almost slanting eyes inviting me to share her story. I love the curiosity of learning the story of one castle and then another in Wales, or imagining the grandeur that accompanied the Emperor in the Forbidden City of China. They leave me wanting more and more. This country, as much as I love it, is far too small for me. There are greater things out there, things for me to see and learn and experience. I know now that I wish to incorporate travelling and writing more into my life.
But of course, life is never as such. With good things comes the bad, and I've had my share of conflict this year. The biggest, I think, occurred during the months of May to July. I will not go into details here. But those who knew, would know what I'm talking about. I made that choice based on so many factors. In the end, I did not regret my decision to leave that establishment. No matter how I look back and tried to see it from a different angle, it was a good thing to do, and I moved on.
In many ways life in 2011 has taught me many things. It taught me the value of focus and what price must be paid if I let emotions cloud my judgement. I am not a child who can get away with tantrums, nor am I the daughter of some rich person to throw my life away so simply. I am a young woman, with so many things ahead of me, and it is important for me to know exactly what I want and do my best to achieve it. If there is one regret I have this year, it is losing my focus and forgetting what my goals are. To fall in the sideways is unacceptable in this world, whatever one chooses to do with his or her life.
With all those in mind, I suppose that in some ways I have been wiser. I know the rights and wrongs of the things that I did. I will not be so proud as to say there is nothing in this year that I would not change. Yes, there are things I would have done differently, had I know it would turn out the way it did. But by having these regrets, we learn to live and we learn to survive. Experience has always been the best teacher of all. And as for happiness, yes I am happier now. This year has washed away a bitter feeling I've had in me since I was 18, and made me believe that love is a pain you can readily embrace, if you approach it with care. More importantly, one can also let go with peace in her mind. I can look at him and smile at the thought of those happy memories we shared, instead of be reminded of all the horrors as I had once upon a time, in a distant past.
So perhaps I should rephrase those words I wrote in that facebook status: 2010 had been the year for change. 2011 is the year of discovery.
My main resolution for 2012 is to pursue what I love, and to be more patient and consistent in the journey. Whatever is my calling in life, I cannot achieve them overnight. Rome was not built in a day. There is much I need to do, and I vow to accomplish them all.
Goodbye 2011. It's been a blast. Thank you for the memories.
Hello 2012. Let's get started.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Time For a Resolution!
With 2012 just around the corner, my thoughts now turn to the one thing many people would dutifully do this time of the year but don't often keep: New Year's Resolution.
I don't do resolutions normally. I find it a waste of time, and anyway there's no reason to get hyped up when you're going to go back to your old habits in a month or less. Besides, we can change anytime we want, why put it off for the next year what we can do today?
But I admit I did do some sort of a 'Things To Do Before I'm 25' list in early 2011, as I would turn 25 in September. I got the inspiration from a magazine and thought it would be fun to do some crazy things before I hit the big silver jubilee. Sadly, out of the ten things I wrote down, I only managed to accomplish one- hence why I sucked at making resolutions.
But this year would be different. I always said that 2010 is the year of transitions (I graduated from Uni & started my life as a career girl) and 2011 is the the year of adventure (my two overseas trip and something else I must not mention... too often). And now I will say that 2012 is the year for improvement. Plus, I want to travel as travel should, not being flocked around like sheep as tourists do.
So here's my resolution for 2012:
1) Find a good job, and stay there for longer than a year (easier said than done)
2) Find a further study option (Masters in Accounting? ACCA? Or that lifelong dream in Archaeology?)
3) Get that IELTS thing going (So I can proceed with #2)
4) Invest in Forex actively
5) Attend French & Mandarin classes
6) Travel extensively (my favourite and the most important!)
*India with my best friend (Agra & Kashmir, here I come!)
*Australia with my cousin (Sydney? Melbourne? Perth?)
*Singapore with my best friend (this one's fixed)
*Egypt (If I'm lucky)
God willing, I might just be able to achieve this. o_O *Dies*
I don't do resolutions normally. I find it a waste of time, and anyway there's no reason to get hyped up when you're going to go back to your old habits in a month or less. Besides, we can change anytime we want, why put it off for the next year what we can do today?
But I admit I did do some sort of a 'Things To Do Before I'm 25' list in early 2011, as I would turn 25 in September. I got the inspiration from a magazine and thought it would be fun to do some crazy things before I hit the big silver jubilee. Sadly, out of the ten things I wrote down, I only managed to accomplish one- hence why I sucked at making resolutions.
But this year would be different. I always said that 2010 is the year of transitions (I graduated from Uni & started my life as a career girl) and 2011 is the the year of adventure (my two overseas trip and something else I must not mention... too often). And now I will say that 2012 is the year for improvement. Plus, I want to travel as travel should, not being flocked around like sheep as tourists do.
So here's my resolution for 2012:
1) Find a good job, and stay there for longer than a year (easier said than done)
2) Find a further study option (Masters in Accounting? ACCA? Or that lifelong dream in Archaeology?)
3) Get that IELTS thing going (So I can proceed with #2)
4) Invest in Forex actively
5) Attend French & Mandarin classes
6) Travel extensively (my favourite and the most important!)
*India with my best friend (Agra & Kashmir, here I come!)
*Australia with my cousin (Sydney? Melbourne? Perth?)
*Singapore with my best friend (this one's fixed)
*Egypt (If I'm lucky)
God willing, I might just be able to achieve this. o_O *Dies*
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Time To Get Serious
Oh yeah, I thought the same thing too for a while.
This blog is dead. Or was.
Between all and everything that has been going on in my life, blogging is probably the last thing on my to-do list for a very long time. Ironically, anyone could say that I'm married to the internet- I spend more time with it than my own friends (blame it on Facebook). But all the time I was online, I never publish an entry on this blog, despite all the hype that professional bloggers were getting.
I'd love to blame it on my previous job. It was too draining, too time-consuming, too blah-blah-blah. And in a way, it is true. I was often so drained by the time I return home from work or during weekends that all I ever care about was to lie down- as comfortably as I can possibly be without moving any unnecessary muscle- and breeze through Facebook or Google or my favourite TV show. There just isn't any energy or inspiration to do what I know I do best- writing. No stories, no journal, nothing.
But then, only a bad workman blames his tools.
I quit that job last August for many various reasons, and have spent the past four months mainly at home, taking off the burden of caring for my two siblings from my parents. But apart from that I have also been travelling to parts of the globe. I was in Europe with my aunt in September, and then last week my family and I took a trip to Beijing to experience winter. I love travelling, it has been my dream to see the world since I was a child. I was lucky enough to see Venice, Amsterdam and Hong Kong by the time I was 11, and as I often told my siblings- "Once you've seen other countries, your own seemed so small to you."
I knew from a young age that I would love to incorporate travelling into my career life once I grew up. I wanted to be an archaeologist since I was eight. But my parents, as all parents do, wished me to take a more practical path in finance. But life in a cubicle from dawn to dusk in not for me. I might be able to deal with it for a few years or so. But I cannot do it forever.
Since I have been at home, I've been considering many different options for my next step. What should I do next? Find another office job? Write freelance for magazines? Go back to college and study my lifelong dream, archaeology? Pursue a travel writing career? I know I'm good at two things- read, write and internet surfing (okay, maybe three). But I have neither paper qualification nor proper training on any of these. My qualification lies on the thing I can neither make head nor tail of, and let's be honest: the thought of going back into the banking industry (or THAT kind of boss) is nightmarish to me.
An idea came to me just moments ago, while I was surfing through the net looking at the options as a travel writer. The truth hurts, and whether I choose to be an archaeologist or a travel or fiction writer, unless I am Prof. Zahi Hawass or J.K. Rowling, I can't make it through. I live in a continent where money means everything and creativity is superficial. There is just no room for my dream ambition and if I want to make it, I have to go back to finance. But one thing that I do note that these writers usually begin their career as tentative bloggers. So here I am. We've got to start somewhere right?
I don't know what my life will bring me, or where these steps will take me. But I know what I'm good at, and I know what I have. For now, it is what is best.
This blog is dead. Or was.
Between all and everything that has been going on in my life, blogging is probably the last thing on my to-do list for a very long time. Ironically, anyone could say that I'm married to the internet- I spend more time with it than my own friends (blame it on Facebook). But all the time I was online, I never publish an entry on this blog, despite all the hype that professional bloggers were getting.
I'd love to blame it on my previous job. It was too draining, too time-consuming, too blah-blah-blah. And in a way, it is true. I was often so drained by the time I return home from work or during weekends that all I ever care about was to lie down- as comfortably as I can possibly be without moving any unnecessary muscle- and breeze through Facebook or Google or my favourite TV show. There just isn't any energy or inspiration to do what I know I do best- writing. No stories, no journal, nothing.
But then, only a bad workman blames his tools.
I quit that job last August for many various reasons, and have spent the past four months mainly at home, taking off the burden of caring for my two siblings from my parents. But apart from that I have also been travelling to parts of the globe. I was in Europe with my aunt in September, and then last week my family and I took a trip to Beijing to experience winter. I love travelling, it has been my dream to see the world since I was a child. I was lucky enough to see Venice, Amsterdam and Hong Kong by the time I was 11, and as I often told my siblings- "Once you've seen other countries, your own seemed so small to you."
I knew from a young age that I would love to incorporate travelling into my career life once I grew up. I wanted to be an archaeologist since I was eight. But my parents, as all parents do, wished me to take a more practical path in finance. But life in a cubicle from dawn to dusk in not for me. I might be able to deal with it for a few years or so. But I cannot do it forever.
Since I have been at home, I've been considering many different options for my next step. What should I do next? Find another office job? Write freelance for magazines? Go back to college and study my lifelong dream, archaeology? Pursue a travel writing career? I know I'm good at two things- read, write and internet surfing (okay, maybe three). But I have neither paper qualification nor proper training on any of these. My qualification lies on the thing I can neither make head nor tail of, and let's be honest: the thought of going back into the banking industry (or THAT kind of boss) is nightmarish to me.
An idea came to me just moments ago, while I was surfing through the net looking at the options as a travel writer. The truth hurts, and whether I choose to be an archaeologist or a travel or fiction writer, unless I am Prof. Zahi Hawass or J.K. Rowling, I can't make it through. I live in a continent where money means everything and creativity is superficial. There is just no room for my dream ambition and if I want to make it, I have to go back to finance. But one thing that I do note that these writers usually begin their career as tentative bloggers. So here I am. We've got to start somewhere right?
I don't know what my life will bring me, or where these steps will take me. But I know what I'm good at, and I know what I have. For now, it is what is best.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Of Pillars and Queens
Recently I had finished reading two books connected to the lifestyle of Medieval Europe.
The first one was the autobiography of Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine, who married two kings and mothered three. She was the heiress to the Duchy of Aquitane at the age of 15, and then became Queen Consort to Louis VII of France before marrying Henry of Normandy, whom later became Henry II of England. Her sons include Henry the Young, King Richard the Lionheart and King John.
I find Eleanor fascinating. For a woman born in Europe during those days, she was surprisingly powerful and influential. Of course, not many records were made of Eleanor's involvement of many historical events of her time, but there have been shadow of hints that she did, in fact, played more parts than just the average Queen and Mother to the heir. She certainly had be patronized by a Bishop for interfering with her first husband's government, and was claimed to have sent her sons to war against her second. Her role flourished when King Richard ascended the throne, ruling England in his name when he rode to the Crusades.
The second book I read was a fictional one, but surprisingly close to the time of Eleanor and Henry's England. The Pillars of the Earth tells the story of the building of a Cathedral, of which in 12th century Europe was the most magnificent building of all, greater even than Castles. The building if this cathedral, which was situated in Kingsbridge, brought about the various, intertwining tale many characters, all so different and yet so very similar.
The book also tells the background story of what medieval England was like that time- corrupted priests, greedy noblemen, vengeful commoners. Peasants who starved during winters and childbrides who grew to fear and loathe their husbands. The superstitious fear of witches and the desperate belief to stand on one's own principle. And then there is the actual historical event of the murder of Thomas Becket, then the Archbishop of Canterbury. The constant feud between Stephen of Blois with his half sister Empress Maud and her son Henry of Normandy (which, to my delight, was familiar from Eleanor's book) also coloured the background, effecting the progress of the cathedral every once in a while.
I am particularly drawn to the character Aliena, who was a haughty daughter of a nobleman and later fell from grace by the young man she had rejected. But somehow she always bounced back, no matter how much William Hamleigh tried to destroy her, she held her head of defiantly until she found her true happiness.
The first one was the autobiography of Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine, who married two kings and mothered three. She was the heiress to the Duchy of Aquitane at the age of 15, and then became Queen Consort to Louis VII of France before marrying Henry of Normandy, whom later became Henry II of England. Her sons include Henry the Young, King Richard the Lionheart and King John.
I find Eleanor fascinating. For a woman born in Europe during those days, she was surprisingly powerful and influential. Of course, not many records were made of Eleanor's involvement of many historical events of her time, but there have been shadow of hints that she did, in fact, played more parts than just the average Queen and Mother to the heir. She certainly had be patronized by a Bishop for interfering with her first husband's government, and was claimed to have sent her sons to war against her second. Her role flourished when King Richard ascended the throne, ruling England in his name when he rode to the Crusades.
The second book I read was a fictional one, but surprisingly close to the time of Eleanor and Henry's England. The Pillars of the Earth tells the story of the building of a Cathedral, of which in 12th century Europe was the most magnificent building of all, greater even than Castles. The building if this cathedral, which was situated in Kingsbridge, brought about the various, intertwining tale many characters, all so different and yet so very similar.
The book also tells the background story of what medieval England was like that time- corrupted priests, greedy noblemen, vengeful commoners. Peasants who starved during winters and childbrides who grew to fear and loathe their husbands. The superstitious fear of witches and the desperate belief to stand on one's own principle. And then there is the actual historical event of the murder of Thomas Becket, then the Archbishop of Canterbury. The constant feud between Stephen of Blois with his half sister Empress Maud and her son Henry of Normandy (which, to my delight, was familiar from Eleanor's book) also coloured the background, effecting the progress of the cathedral every once in a while.
I am particularly drawn to the character Aliena, who was a haughty daughter of a nobleman and later fell from grace by the young man she had rejected. But somehow she always bounced back, no matter how much William Hamleigh tried to destroy her, she held her head of defiantly until she found her true happiness.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
2011- Expectations and Trepidations
It's February already???
OK, I meant to put this post up in January, but that month gave a whole new meaning to the word CRAZY. So many things happening, so many dynamics changing, so many new things to adapt to. So yeah, the plan to re-start this blog kinda took the backseat.
I haven't written in blogs since, hell, the first year of Uni, and that was like a good four or five years ago. Reasons? Lack of time, lack of ideas... you name it. I just wasn't really into virtual journalism. But maybe it's time to start it again. I warn you, this might end up being halfway through, given the station I'm in right now. But hey, no harm in trying right?
Well, for updates, I've now graduated (yippee!!) from Uni, and currently working as an officer in a financial institution. Well, training to be anyway, I won't get confirmed till April (God-willing). So life right now pretty much is about work, home, work, home (yeah, you can say it- LAME) and sometimes if I get the chance I do try to squeeze a little bit of extracurricular activity.
Family's my no. 1 priority now, being the eldest and with an aging mother and a busy father. Next comes career, just because. Friends comes next, but lately I don't see them as often since we're all busy leading lives of our own. After that comes the rest. And for all you smart-alecs out there who ask "Where religion?", I have these words for you- YOU IDIOTS. That goes without saying.
Love? Good question. Next Question.
I would probably write some mini-journals as entries, but I would also like to write thoughts, like I did about the TV brotherhood. But that might take time. And I've got precious few to spare. We'll see though, what happens.
Well, that's all for now. CIAO!!!
OK, I meant to put this post up in January, but that month gave a whole new meaning to the word CRAZY. So many things happening, so many dynamics changing, so many new things to adapt to. So yeah, the plan to re-start this blog kinda took the backseat.
I haven't written in blogs since, hell, the first year of Uni, and that was like a good four or five years ago. Reasons? Lack of time, lack of ideas... you name it. I just wasn't really into virtual journalism. But maybe it's time to start it again. I warn you, this might end up being halfway through, given the station I'm in right now. But hey, no harm in trying right?
Well, for updates, I've now graduated (yippee!!) from Uni, and currently working as an officer in a financial institution. Well, training to be anyway, I won't get confirmed till April (God-willing). So life right now pretty much is about work, home, work, home (yeah, you can say it- LAME) and sometimes if I get the chance I do try to squeeze a little bit of extracurricular activity.
Family's my no. 1 priority now, being the eldest and with an aging mother and a busy father. Next comes career, just because. Friends comes next, but lately I don't see them as often since we're all busy leading lives of our own. After that comes the rest. And for all you smart-alecs out there who ask "Where religion?", I have these words for you- YOU IDIOTS. That goes without saying.
Love? Good question. Next Question.
I would probably write some mini-journals as entries, but I would also like to write thoughts, like I did about the TV brotherhood. But that might take time. And I've got precious few to spare. We'll see though, what happens.
Well, that's all for now. CIAO!!!
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